Green Day - my first real night out with Leukemia

Sept. 24 - SBC Park in San Francisco, CA

Green Day was playing their homecoming at SBC Park in San Francisco.
Physically, to look at me, you wouldn’t have suspected much. I’m still taller than most, and had maintained more than a healthy weight. I was tan and well-fed. But I was also still weakened by the chemos I was taking regularly (daily and weekly).
But I also knew that if I didn’t go out to do what I normally do, then both my physical and mental state wouldn’t be up to par.
So... it was off to see Green Day without fail.

This was a band who had become a great influence on me, and I loved their music.
The upbeat rhythms, the fast pace, and the lyrics, all said enough that I knew it would make me feel better to be outside.
It was their music that kept me inspired to keep playing guitar and writing music while in the hospital. And a lot of songs came from that.

I grabbed my side-kick Keith, and off we went up to San Francisco to see the show.

As I stood on the ground level grass, I could feel a bit of the expected wooziness. Of course. I’m only doped up to high heaven. I found I had to shift my feet back and forth a little more often than usual, to make sure to maintain balance. True, someone else might have taken that as a fair warning to find a seat to sit down. Not I. I was tempered like a seasoned professional since childhood. I had attended concerts while sporting a 102 temperature during a flu. That never fazed me. In fact, sweating out all the “bad stuff” seemed to make me feel better by the next day after those shows. But for this one, I did have to at least keep it in the back of my mind that - being something completely different and new - I had to be prepared for any type of health problem to hit.

In the end, it didn’t matter. Green Day hit the stage and all was well. Singing along to all the words, bopping the head, and essentially dancing around during the 2 1/2 hours seemed to do the trick as I had hoped. I felt great to be out. I felt great to be alive. Half of that was the band’s music, while the other half was the realization that I was in the processes of beating cancer and lucky to be alive at all. Knowing that, I was going to share it with the band - even if they weren’t aware of it.

I had always wanted to do an interview with the band, and talk about how they were an inspiration to many musically, and in life - through the struggles that they had to deal with as well, and now how they really had gotten me moving. I just felt it fair to let those who inspire know that they’ve done some good, and made a difference.

I really enjoyed Billy Joe’s heart-felt comment about “coming home” and how much the SF Bay Area meant to him for helping the band succeed to the levels which they did. And he should know that he meant as much to all those who attended.

When the show was finished, I was still ready for more. Granted, being on my feet for that long was a bit fatiguing considering my condition, but it was worth it. It’s like that drain after a long, hard workout, but you feel better afterwards, knowing that you had accomplished something. For me, my mind and heart were clear, my body solid, and I was just in the best mood possible.

Off we headed for home, wondering when they would be touring again. Before too long, we hoped.

Things are good (so far)...

Howdy kids!

Sorry for the long wait between blogs, but I have been a bit busy getting my life back in order since getting out of the hospital.

So, where am I now...
Well, I moved out of the roommate's house.

We settled our financial differences (with her coming out with the better deal, but I don't want to deal with it anymore), and I did get some of what was coming to me. So that's fine and done. I'm settled in elsewhere and all is well now.

I have basically been feeling great. But, during the recent oncologist appt., I was told to still not tell anyone that I am in remission. I have a bone marrow biopsy (again!) coming up this Weds (Sept. 21). which will tell me more for sure if the treatments all worked.

For the moment, there are no Leukemia cells at all in my body. Hopefully it will remain that way. Most of my blood cells are all back up and working order (especially the white cells), except for the reds that are still below normal, but above dangerous.

Anemia is bugging me a bit. It is a bit frustrating for someone like me who, as many of you know, is so damned gung-ho and ready to move. But I'm OK, so long as I don't hit my limits.

Other than that, I have been given the clean bill of health... am more healthy than I ever have been before, and I can go out, eat anything (and anyone... hehe), and travel (in between the next two one-day treatments in Oct. and Nov.).

Alrighty... all that being said, I recently attended the Mexican Independent Comic Book Day lecture / autograph session featuring my friend Rafael Navarro. Rafael is best known for his comic book "Sonambulo" (www.sonambulo.com), but also is infamous for his works on Nickelodeon and elsewhere.

A couple of other friends came along - my sidekick Keith, and friend Christin. So.... after the shindig, we all hung out at Pizza My Dear - the company that supplied the life-saving (and taste-bud saving) pizza while I was in the hospital. That was the Maui, by the way (you know it as a Hawaiian, for those who are interested).

Soooo.... it was about time to take photos of the New "Do" (or lack of it). So many of you had asked for photos of my new look, I finally put them online. Enjoy!

All your well-wishing's and thoughts and prayers have been working tremendously... and I appreciate them all, so keep them coming. I'm not out of the woods yet, but am getting pretty close.

My wonderful ex-roommate and her (in)"humanity" to me...

Alrighty, this'll let you know what jerk-offs are out there.

I've brought up my soon-to-be-ex-roommate Patty Ferraro before, with her wonderful attitude towards me and her hurriedness to get me out.

Well, the time had come to get down to business...
So, Patty wants to settle up and figure out what's going on, now that her daughter (in her 20s or 30s) is out of my room (that she was occupying while on vacation here for 8 days).

I go over to the house and she gets really bossy immediately. I already knew that she "had an angle" on things and was prepared for it.

We begin to chat (which doesn't last long) at which time she told me that I "may stay" until Sept. 19th, and then need to be out immediately. This of course over-rides her contract which (she signed) states that I can stay until Sept. 30th.

Patty then points out that "Aha!!! You and I agreed on contract that we gave each other a 30 day notice on August 3rd." I then remind her that at that time, I was quite dosed up with medications as the doctors were frantically trying to figure out what exactly was wrong with me and how to cure it. I was in no mental state to do anything... and, I was in the hospital and could not sign any contract. But SHE had signed it and given it to my mom (the same contract that says I am staying until Sept. 30th).

So she tries to say that if I leave on Sept. 19th, we are both in the clear. At this point I remind her that for 8 days, someone was using my room - without my permission... AND my things had been gone through.

I let her know that she will now owe me rent for those 8 days, making it a total of $224 that she owes me in addition to my rent already paid (from a deposit I had left). And that even includes the cleaning bill. Keeping in mind that I got out of the hospital with Leukemia, to which all Patty could say is, "You don't know what's going to happen. Doctors don't know anything." (Basically telling me I'm going to die.)

And, that on August 3rd, she had told me that it's a "good idea" that I move out "right now", furthering that thought with, "I don't want anyone with cancer, or a survivor, in my house. That's just how it is.".

Upon realizing that she owes me money after I leave, she started with "Fine. Take me to court." I agreed that was a good idea, should she decide to do the unethical thing.

I was then treated to a barrage of "Fuck you!!" and "You fucking asshole!!" commentaries and, the best line to say to someone who is sick, "I hope you fucking burn in hell. Get the hell out of my house. I hate you and always have, and never want to see you here again!!!"

And, we have lived together for about 3 years. Hmmm...
Ahhh... the pleasantness of some people, eh?

But you know... I have to say that I understand her position.
Here is a truly frightened woman in her late 50s, who has spent years dying of liver disease - which she gave to herself by working with acetone, which... by golly, also causes Leukemia.

The thought of me floating through life and getting through cancer in 30 days, when she has spent half her life dying and suffering... well, that's got to cause a selfish person to be bitter.

Am I mistaken here? I mean, I'd like to think that there is a reason for her bitterness, which really only started when she found out that I was not dying, but going to be cured. Interesting.

Before that, we would just have minor spats once in a while. And this person also holds Buddhist meetings and group chants, and "teaches" people how THEY should live their lives.

Oh yeah! So I had to share this story to get the gist of what's going on to truly appreciate her mouthy accord.

Sept. 9 - Out of the hospital, and no complaints

I have been paroled from the hospital. As I was Neutrapenic (meaning susceptible to any infections), I was kept in my own room and not allowed many people to visit me, for 30 days.

I just went to my first of many check-ups. As of now, it appears that the Leukemia is dead. My white blood cells had jumped up, as had some other cells but they are still in the low end. My primary doctor said that he is excited with how everything is turning out, and is "giddy with joy" that all will be well. Now of course, I cannot say that I am totally cured yet... not fully for at least 3 to 5 years. But I am going to be getting some maintenance treatments and they are going to check my bone marrow again very soon to make sure that there are no more reproductive cancer cells now. Then it will be safe to say that I am OK for at least a while. Personally... I think I am going to get through this just fine.

In expectation (and in actuality eventually) of my hair falling out (which finally started), I have shaved my head bald and grown a goatee. My friend Sue flew down from Reno to do the deed. She even bought the clippers. (Clippers? I thought she was going to shear sheep for a minute.)

Now I have some news to tell you.... I have been finding out some very interesting facts and side-effects that have been occurring to me. In the end, these are actually good things.

1) My hair apparently will be growing back thicker and fuller. Yippee!

2) The Tretinoin (Vitamin A derivative) treatment that I am taking to actually kill the cancer cells, is actually a form of Retin A. For those of you who don't know, that is used to clear up acne and scars. I had begun some strange peelings on my face, and a bit on my arms. And... I had discovered in the hospital bathroom one afternoon... other, more "private" areas of my body, began to peel and shed skin as well. This was quite unnerving at first. It became more distressing when the doctor had never heard of that happening. Well... the end result is this... as it is Retin A in my system, I have basically been having a "facial"... an exfoliating peel from the inside out. The result is this - My face is now flawless. I have no pores and no acne at all... anywhere (and including some very clean privates). This has brought me some nice comments about having a very nice face, and looking years younger. No complaints there.

3) With all the antibiotics, antivirals, having my bone marrow stripped, killed, and redone... and making new blood... I am about the healthiest person you could want to know. (Which I suppose would also make me the safest sex partner.)

4) Although it looked as though I was going to gain weight in the hospital, I have actually lost 30 lbs so far. Nice!!

All in all, how can anyone complain about the above information happening to them? Now, so long as I fully recover and get through the Leukemia, I am going to have one happy new life. Sweet!

A main thing that I want to emphasize about what I think in reflection about all that has recently happened to me...
I hate the term "cancer survivor". It sounds so "victimized." Sorry, but I am not a victim.
The fact is that I am not going to curse God, I'm not going to find someone or something to blame, and I am not going to pity myself.

Things happen to people. Thousands die from influenza (the flu) around the world.
Do the rest of us call ourselves "influenza survivors"? No! Leukemia is something that happened.

In my personal case, I was able to handle it fittingly. I made NO complaints for the literally dozens upon dozens of blood draws that I had taken. I did not complain about the IVs. I did not complain about the chemo.

Do what you must when someone is trying to help you or cure you. I may have been a bit onry once in a while, but I always kept my cool, and I always tried to be the most productive.

I went in expecting to die. I resigned myself to it, and then tried to figure out how much productive time I would have left. As it was, I got lucky.

To anyone who complains about the minor inconveniences of having to deal with things... get over it.
If it's helping you, accept it.

Anyway, I am out now and enjoying everything. I've been out since Aug. 28, and most of that time has been on my feet, running around doing errands, and making my best attempt to get back to work. I don't have time to lay around. I do rest to get myself healed up, but anyone who personally knows me knows that I am ancy and have to be on the move. So that's my story for now.